The Honours System
By Henry Englesman
I've been a Mason nigh four decades,
Forty years of interest and delight.
In brotherhood I've lived and loved
Togetherness has been my guiding light,
And I've received just a little bit more
Than the effort I've put in.
For a night with the boys is one of life's joys
And I don't regard it a sin.
I've paid all my dues, and I've taken my turn,
And in all it's been really grand,
The ritual's a breeze, but, explain to me, please,
Something I don't understand.
There's a bone of contention I feel I must mention
That has caused a degree of concern.
Who gets promoted? And how is it done?
That's something I just have to learn.
Now I've told you my problem, I'll tell it again
I've thought on it hard and quite long
But whoever I speak to, they don't make it plain
That's something I find clearly wrong.
Now canvassing's out, that's obviously fair,
Flattery and bribery too
And a friend in high places has no saving graces,
So why did they pick him? And not you!
I visit quite often, almost countrywide
And am many times called on to speak,
I'm asked the same query, until I'm weary,
The answer I give, tongue in cheek.
Who makes this decision that causes division
Just tell us the name of the guy
When I tell them I can't, if I could that I shan't
Then I hear this same plaintive cry -
A didn't want any
B didn't get any
C got more than he should
Ds little heart sank,
E got an active rank,
F didn't - but he felt that he could
G had effort ignored
with it all H was bored
and I really couldn't care less.
J was quite elated, poor K was deflated
it seemed all one L of a mess!
M had been a founder,
but N seemed much sounder
0 for it all to make sense!
P tried to mollify
Q did not qualify,
R did not have enough sense!
S seemed stupendous,
'T was tremendous,
and at seventy U was past tense!
V had been secretary,
W had just made merry
but X seemed to mark the right spot
Tell us Y (That's the riddle)
Z to be all a fiddle(!)
How did anyone get what he got???
Will this great mystery that's gone down in history
Ever really be solved?
I very much doubt it, but with or without it,
I'd rather not get involved.
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“Received my ring today!
Outstanding thank you!”
Brother Huggy Graham, Perth, Scotland