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Ashlar Home > Poems > The Structure of the Lodge

The Structure of the Lodge

Author Unknown

The Worshipful Master
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than an Intercity Express
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

The Senior Warden
Leaps short buildings with a single bound
Is more powerful than a goods train
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on the water if the sea is calm
Talks with God

The Junior Warden
Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favourable wind
Is almost as powerful as a goods train
Is faster than a speeding airgun pellet
Walks on water of a swimming pool
Talks with God if special dispensation is given

The Senior Deacon
Barely clears a garden hut
Loses a tug-of-war with a train
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God

The Junior Deacon
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by trains
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Doggie paddles
Talks with the animals

The Inner Guard
Runs into buildings
Recognizes trains two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life vest
Talks to walls

The Steward
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says Look at the choo choo's
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself

The Secretary
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks trains off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his mouth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
He is God!
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